True facts about me

I'm sort of working on an autobiography in case I get dementia later...

As the facts about me come to life, I shall add to this piece. Here are some true facts about me, and the title is

EVERY WORD IS TRUE

I was born in a now-dead century.

I was made in East Germany but born in Hungary - that makes me one part Australian, two parts former Communist.

I am the descendant of a Transylvanian Count and my ancestors were Ogres - some may even have been dog-headed Tartars, but of that I’m not certain.

My great-grandfather could not be killed by a bullet to the head and his wife was Little Red Riding Hood.

I’m in love with the Maharishi of Patagonia and was gay-married to a Cadaver.

I share a home with His Holiness Doomsquish Bojangles III and Standartenfuhrer Pickletits Meowchovich Junior Senior Junior.

My father was a Necromancer and an explorer of the afterlife.

My mother’s life can beat up your dad.

My sister is literally one in a million.

I have forgotten Russian.

I am allergic to Nature.

I once met a man who said people in India have been watching television for 10,000 years - but I did not believe him.

My name is longer to pronounce than it is to write.

I am a Pope, a Reverend, a Prophet and an atheist.

I am physically Jewish, but only since I turned forty.

I bought my name from the Government.

I am only half-way through my life, but since I intend to live much longer, I may only be a tenth of a way through, or less.

I’ve walked on the back of a Dragon and have bowed to a living God.

So far that's it - today I added the line about the Ogres and the Tartars - because they're true. Every word of this is true, not one bit is exaggerated.

[Here's a pikkie as an illustration - I found it after googling my name - 
'sokay, it's a T-shirt I designed...]