Did I tell you about the time I invented Steampunk?

True story.
Back in 1999, I invented Steampunk.
Complete with steam engines and Victorian gentlemen.
I've got proof- read on.

"But Mr.X, The Difference Engine by Bruce Sterling and William Gibson came out in 1990!", I hear you screech and rightfully so.

I didn't read that book till about... lemme think... 2005? Sounds about right. The above is the paperback edition I had. It's kinda good but kinda boring, I find Bruce Sterling has wonderful ideas (and I follow his tumblr avidly), but his writing is so dry and s-l-o-w.

But back to me.
In 1999, I got obsessed with the Eiffel Tower. It was in my head all the time, along with Wells' War of the Worlds. I knew these to be the greatest things ever, and the tower was the centre of the world. I started making artworks with images thereof.

This was going to be the ribcage of something bigger, but I liked it as is.

Then I discovered this song:

This song was waaaaaaay influential on my song-writing too!

Well, the deal was sealed, friends.

I invented a place called EUROPEA, where gentlemen with steam engines in their backs would roam. I thought the idea of a man with a chimney in his back was the best thing ever.

I was going to make a whole book about the word of Europea, but I never got there. Still, I made a few pikkies which are still around. So let's see:

For largely self-taught Photoshop in 1999, this ain't so bad.
Here's more:

Sunday Afternoon Music-lovers - this became the cover for the first Fat Little Bastard album [HERE].

And then came the Paris vs. Venus series, the idea being that in 1800 A.D., we got attacked by Venus. Things got bad, but we eventually beat them on April 27f (yes, April 27f, that's not a typo). Behold:

Paris vs. Venus, 1800 A.D.

Day Fifteen

Atomic Attack

Scopophilia Holocaust

Aerial Battle No. 39

Postcard of Venus

Day Fifteen prompted a friend of mine to declare "it's the most misogynistic work I've ever seen", which lead me to make business cards that said XTIAN - Surrealist & Misogynist - "I've yet to see a monkey with nice breasts!" (a quote from another silly conversation).

Anyhoo, I started collecting old pictures and maps and so on to make more Europea with, but the project stalled and I never got back to it. Then I discovered others were doing things like this too, which made me lose interest even more. I never go to putting cogs on a hat, but I did have goggles back in 2000, and I used to rock an old Victorian coat with Freemason regalia attached.

So there it is - I invented Steampunk, a.k.a. Europea without knowing it already existed. Feels good.

Even more new collages...!

If you want to stay up-to-date with all my latest collages - head on over to:

https://gadzooxtian.tumblr.com/

I'm also on instagram at 

www.instagram.com/gadzooxtian/

#gadzooxtian 

Collage in the style of Larry Carlson

A short comic based on a dream I had...

Can't believe I haven't out this online yet.... it's kinda NSFW if yer at work...

This could happen to you.

Collages Old and New

I've been scanning in old collages as well as uploading new ones, such as this little beauty from a week ago:

Immaculate Inanity, or: For How Much Longer Do We Tolerate Painting?

(Jan, 2018)

See them all on my tumblr: gadzooxtian.tumblr.com . I'm also on instagram, but they censor pictures...

Infinite Collage UPDATE

The Infinite Collage has been updated! Go here NOW:

http://infinity.gadzooxtian.com/xprmnt.shtml

If you don't know what the IC is: then go have a look. Prepare to have your mind bee-looown!

(Warning: there may be boobs)

That proud moment...

...when your work is chosen to showcase an international group exhibition.

Screencap:

My pikkie's on the left.

See the exhibition online here: http://virtual.tart.co.nz/default.htm

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Three David Lynch-ian Moments in the Last Seven Days...

Here's three moments from the past week that would sit nicely in a GOOD David Lynch film - these are all true events.

Day 1.
It was a very windy day, I had to lean into it as it was almost blowing me over. I was on King St, up near the strip joints. As I look up, I see a bright red parka flying above the trees, arms spread, hood extended - looked like an invisible man flying backwards through the air. By the time I got my phone out - it landed in someone's balcony.

Day 2.
As I reach the 4th floor at work, the door opens and there's a young woman.
She looks at me. I wait for her to step aside so I can get out of the lift.
She looks me in the eyes and then she yells out: "This is the fourth floor!"
I say: "Yes. It is."
She just stands there.
So I walk around her, she jumps into the lift and that was that.
I was hoping to bump into her later in the day and ask what floor we were on, but...

Day 3.
An elderly gentleman gets on the tram and sits in front of me. Nice shoes, blue pants, blue blazer, nice shirt with very large cuff-links, hair all slicked back, brown case in lap.
He eventually pulls out a phone and starts talking. I only caught snippets, but -
"... we got some nice shots of the lady with her legs apart, yes... [mumble-mumble]... we got a very nice one with the husband on top... [mumble-mumble]... yes, they're very nice, very colourful, I'll send them to you, they're very colourful, very nice... [mumble-mumble]..."
   My first thought was - "Wow!, a private eye!", but then I thought "Maybe a pornographer?"
   I guess we'll never know - it was my stop.
   And as I get up to leave, I see the man on my right has a purple birthmark, covering half his face...

There are two more working days left of this week, so hopefully, hopefully...

Godzilla died... :-(

Nakajima-san died today, aged 88...
Respect!!!

Fact

Fact: if you say "salt anus" while thinking of sultanas, you will most likely think you're saying "sultanas" even though you're clearly saying "salt anus".

Mind.
Blown.

It's tiny!

A recent photo to give you some idea about just how much work goes into some of these collages...

...and where it ended up: 

(untitled - 2017)

Fat Little Bastard 15th Anniversary Podcast

Great Googly Moogly! I make musics - did you know I make musics? Well, not as much as I used to, BUT here's 15 years of my band FAT LITTLE BASTARD squeezed into one podcast by the lovely Mat Blackwell. You will hear psychedelia, pop, rock, metal, electronica, arty stuff, a ditty about David Bowie and a song about poo. FLB is my brain put to music. May get noisy or very funny. Turn it up!!!!

Bored at Work

I get bored - idle hands become the Devil's paintbrush...

New Collages - new style - new website

Friends!

I have rejigged my dot com, it's now way simpler and sexier and easier to navigate than ever before, so go have a squizz -

www.gadzooxtian.com
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I have added all kinds of collages you may not have seen before, including this new idea I'm exploring called No Additives. The concept there is collages - without anything added to them. I know, right? How do dat work? Well, I use nothing BUT the one image - and only whatever's in that image. Example:

"I woke up like that..."

Hit the website to see more! (I'm also sussing instagram - more soon!)

Can I Play with Cap'n Beefheart's Commodore 64?

...is a question you should be asking yourself, often.
Allow me to expand on this.

So when I was a kid, I had a Commodore 64. It was THE GREATEST FUCKING THING I EVER OWNED, thanks Dad! (No joke.)

So there was a game there called Hawkeye - you're like a cyborg in your underpants, shooting stuff - how good is that?! Anyhoo, have a listen to the game soundtrack, it's killer. In particular, have a listen to the riff at 10:00. Very nice - catchy! The game, btw, is from 1988.

Now comes Exhibit B: Iron Maiden's Can I play with Madness? Truthfully, I'm not a Maiden fan, they have many great songs, but I can't sit through a whole album - too cheesy. But Madness is a great song - especially that riff... Have a listen.

Yes amigo, that IS Graham Chapman in his last acting assignment!

The song is from 1988. Are we beginning to sniff a pattern here? No? Yes? Don't answer, here comes Exhibit C: Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band with Moody Liz. You will not diss the Captain - EVER.
So behold this ditty, but for the purpose of our adventure, I implore you to fast forward to 3:36 and crank it. Oh and note, this song was recorded 1967 or 68.

This is what living in Heaven sounds like.

Soooooooooooooooooo, fellow cannibals, what have we sniffed out here?
Aha!

Something about a particular riff if I've done my job well.

Don't think about it too hard because all this is merely the intro(!) to a mash-up masterpiece by... me!
Special guest appearances by Arthur Brown and Zappa. Go on, clicky - it's awesome!

The world needs and deserves this!

Schrodinger's Pants

If I walk down the street with no pants on = BAD.
If I walk down the street with pants on = GOOD.
If I walk down the street with my fly undone = BAD; yet I am wearing pants!
Thus, pants with fly undone is the same as no pants - yet there IS pants.
.: Fly undone is pants and no pants,
a.k.a.

Schrodinger's Pants.

It is not important for anyone to understand any of this.

As a sidenote: what would Schrodinger's Cat in Schrodinger's Pants be like?

(It is not important for anyone to understand any of this either.)

Old and new collages and a self portrait (woah! Mixed!)

Hey friends,

I've been putting up some old stuff on my tumblr - I moved house so I found all these photos and what-have-you, detritus, etc. Scope it HERE.
There's new stuff there too, such as this brand new self portrait:

Chris Isaak would adore this - get in touch, Chris!

This is a rather special piece for two reasons: i) the boring part - most of the blue matches my current hair colour - go figure; and ii) I don't really do self portraits (or portraits of anyone, really). I think all my pix are self portraits, but this one I set out to make and name as such. In fact, it is called

SELF PORTRAIT WITH EMPHASIS ON IMMERSION AND THE KISS .

Lovely.

Now go to my tumblr (HERE).

New Collages (it's what I'm good at, right?)

Hi Friends!

I've been positing (ha!), posting new collages at my tumblr. Well, new pix of old collages you've not seen yet. It's what happens when you move house - you find old cool shit.
Anyhoo - if yer the tumblr type (or even if yr not), get your peepers onto this here URL and it's contents thereof:

http://gadzooxtian.tumblr.com

where you can find all kinds of gems, like this little beauty here from the Desert Gods series, from back in 2006:

"I boogie, therefore I am."

I had this dream...

Recently in Japan, I had this dream I thought I'd share because it's so wonderfully messed up.
There was a message given to me or found by me that said something like 

"Einstürzende Neubauten 11:13"

- meaning I had to find the 13th song on their 11th album (or vice versa).
I wasn't sure what it meant so I asked this young woman who wouldn't tell me. It was important that I knew what it meant so I took her hand and put her finger in my mouth and then slowly bit it off. She didn't even flinch, and I pointed out how it was just like biting a Pocky stick.

"Share Happiness - or cannibalism..."

My partner Pauline heard this so she bit one of the girl's fingers off too.
She agreed it was like Pocky, so we decided to eat more fingers.
Then the scene dissolved to sort of a news report showing models on catwalks biting their own fingers off and the voice-over said something like:
"The new craze has seems to have taken off in a big way, even celebrities are getting in on it with rapper Kanye West going so far as to remove his own head."
Cut to a Kanye concert where the man in question in a black t-shirt pulls his own head off in one quick move.
Voice-over: "Luckily he had his face disguised as a baby to hide his otherwise grotesque features."
And sure enough, Kanye's headless body is holding a head that resembles a baby's, but it is obviously wearing make-up.
THE END

What a completely abhorrent dream! I love it!

Some pointers:
- not long before this dream I actually ate the head and wing of a sparrow on a stick I bought at Nishiki market (Kyoto) - not recommended. Even some of the market-stall holders were weirded out.
- Pocky is pretty good - recommended.
- I don't really know what Kanye does generally, I've heard maybe 2 or 3 songs from him, none that I can even remotely recall. (He's not my bag, baby.)
- Here's song 13 from album #11 (Lament) by Einstürzende Neubauten. It is called Der Beginn des Weltkrieges 1914 (Dargestellt unter Zuhilfenahme eines Tierstimmenimitators) - that is, The Beginning of World War in 1914, (Presented by an Animal Voice Imitator).

When I grow up, I will be Blixa's hands.

WORSHIP THE MOWING DEVIL

I invented the mowing Baphomet guy back in 2009. He first appeared in a painting I did called The Dream has Eaten the Dreamer.

EXHIBIT "A"

It's social commentary etc, then I realised the mower Baphomet is me.

But not before I did a part 2, called The Ritual:

EXHIBIT "B"

There will be a part 3 one day when I have time (and inclination) to paint.

THE POINT of this post being: quite accidentally, I stumbled across [ THIS ] on wikipedia....

Evil mind that plots lawn-destruction...

... and now I worship the Mowing Devil.

(And Fat Satan [HERE].)

(And "BOB".)

(And me.)

Some September collages

So here's some new works - you can buy some of them at my redbubble store as a print or T-shirt... (Link after the images.)
None of these pix have titles.

BUY PRINTS - CLICK [HERE]