Melbourne Kollage Ultra

So I/ we am starting a COLLAGE COLLECTIVE, a sort of "cool kids club" for collage makers and lovers. It'll be top shelf madness and life-changing and so on, and hey!, look a flyer:

If you're interested in any way shape or form, have questions etc:

website: http://gadzooxtian.com/collective.html
tumblr: https://melbournekollageultra.tumblr.com/
facebook event: https://tinyurl.com/melbournekollageultra

MELBOURNE KOLLAGE ULTRA:

JOIN US!!!

Three David Lynch-ian Moments in the Last Seven Days...

Here's three moments from the past week that would sit nicely in a GOOD David Lynch film - these are all true events.

Day 1.
It was a very windy day, I had to lean into it as it was almost blowing me over. I was on King St, up near the strip joints. As I look up, I see a bright red parka flying above the trees, arms spread, hood extended - looked like an invisible man flying backwards through the air. By the time I got my phone out - it landed in someone's balcony.

Day 2.
As I reach the 4th floor at work, the door opens and there's a young woman.
She looks at me. I wait for her to step aside so I can get out of the lift.
She looks me in the eyes and then she yells out: "This is the fourth floor!"
I say: "Yes. It is."
She just stands there.
So I walk around her, she jumps into the lift and that was that.
I was hoping to bump into her later in the day and ask what floor we were on, but...

Day 3.
An elderly gentleman gets on the tram and sits in front of me. Nice shoes, blue pants, blue blazer, nice shirt with very large cuff-links, hair all slicked back, brown case in lap.
He eventually pulls out a phone and starts talking. I only caught snippets, but -
"... we got some nice shots of the lady with her legs apart, yes... [mumble-mumble]... we got a very nice one with the husband on top... [mumble-mumble]... yes, they're very nice, very colourful, I'll send them to you, they're very colourful, very nice... [mumble-mumble]..."
   My first thought was - "Wow!, a private eye!", but then I thought "Maybe a pornographer?"
   I guess we'll never know - it was my stop.
   And as I get up to leave, I see the man on my right has a purple birthmark, covering half his face...

There are two more working days left of this week, so hopefully, hopefully...

THE INFINITE COLLAGE HAS BEEN UPDATED !!!

Hi there!

It has been a year, but The Infinite Collage has been updated with 4.19m worth of new stuff (this taking us to approx 75m/ 246 feet).

It's ridiculous. It almost didn't happen: I managed to lose 2 of the images I made for it, which I didn't realise until it was time for the update. Mat had 6 bits, I only had  four - what the Hell? But luckily I found them, they're now where they should be - and where you should be:

http://infinity.gadzooxtian.com/xprmnt.shtml

So go there!

This and other fantastic delights await you!

Fat Little Bastard 15th Anniversary Podcast

Great Googly Moogly! I make musics - did you know I make musics? Well, not as much as I used to, BUT here's 15 years of my band FAT LITTLE BASTARD squeezed into one podcast by the lovely Mat Blackwell. You will hear psychedelia, pop, rock, metal, electronica, arty stuff, a ditty about David Bowie and a song about poo. FLB is my brain put to music. May get noisy or very funny. Turn it up!!!!

Schrodinger's Pants

If I walk down the street with no pants on = BAD.
If I walk down the street with pants on = GOOD.
If I walk down the street with my fly undone = BAD; yet I am wearing pants!
Thus, pants with fly undone is the same as no pants - yet there IS pants.
.: Fly undone is pants and no pants,
a.k.a.

Schrodinger's Pants.

It is not important for anyone to understand any of this.

As a sidenote: what would Schrodinger's Cat in Schrodinger's Pants be like?

(It is not important for anyone to understand any of this either.)

I had this dream...

Recently in Japan, I had this dream I thought I'd share because it's so wonderfully messed up.
There was a message given to me or found by me that said something like 

"Einstürzende Neubauten 11:13"

- meaning I had to find the 13th song on their 11th album (or vice versa).
I wasn't sure what it meant so I asked this young woman who wouldn't tell me. It was important that I knew what it meant so I took her hand and put her finger in my mouth and then slowly bit it off. She didn't even flinch, and I pointed out how it was just like biting a Pocky stick.

"Share Happiness - or cannibalism..."

My partner Pauline heard this so she bit one of the girl's fingers off too.
She agreed it was like Pocky, so we decided to eat more fingers.
Then the scene dissolved to sort of a news report showing models on catwalks biting their own fingers off and the voice-over said something like:
"The new craze has seems to have taken off in a big way, even celebrities are getting in on it with rapper Kanye West going so far as to remove his own head."
Cut to a Kanye concert where the man in question in a black t-shirt pulls his own head off in one quick move.
Voice-over: "Luckily he had his face disguised as a baby to hide his otherwise grotesque features."
And sure enough, Kanye's headless body is holding a head that resembles a baby's, but it is obviously wearing make-up.
THE END

What a completely abhorrent dream! I love it!

Some pointers:
- not long before this dream I actually ate the head and wing of a sparrow on a stick I bought at Nishiki market (Kyoto) - not recommended. Even some of the market-stall holders were weirded out.
- Pocky is pretty good - recommended.
- I don't really know what Kanye does generally, I've heard maybe 2 or 3 songs from him, none that I can even remotely recall. (He's not my bag, baby.)
- Here's song 13 from album #11 (Lament) by Einstürzende Neubauten. It is called Der Beginn des Weltkrieges 1914 (Dargestellt unter Zuhilfenahme eines Tierstimmenimitators) - that is, The Beginning of World War in 1914, (Presented by an Animal Voice Imitator).

When I grow up, I will be Blixa's hands.

WORSHIP THE MOWING DEVIL

I invented the mowing Baphomet guy back in 2009. He first appeared in a painting I did called The Dream has Eaten the Dreamer.

EXHIBIT "A"

It's social commentary etc, then I realised the mower Baphomet is me.

But not before I did a part 2, called The Ritual:

EXHIBIT "B"

There will be a part 3 one day when I have time (and inclination) to paint.

THE POINT of this post being: quite accidentally, I stumbled across [ THIS ] on wikipedia....

Evil mind that plots lawn-destruction...

... and now I worship the Mowing Devil.

(And Fat Satan [HERE].)

(And "BOB".)

(And me.)

Inconsequential Exploration of the Psyche (free comic)

Hello young and old!
Here's yet another comic I drew at my work, this time a short one, starring my work-buddy Bish', c/o a photo by my other work-buddy Meagan (who's name I prob'ly spelt wrong again...).
This comic is about LIFE - yes, this is serious! Innit? Gah!

dafuq?

Infinite Collage updated

So friends, behold!
The INFINITE COLLAGE has once again grown by 3 metres of pure psychedelia.

Mr.Blackwell and I invite you to please peruse this wondrous work of art

HERE

Infinite Collage has been updated!

It's about to turn 7 years old - it has just grown by 3 metres, there was a stuff-up in the making thereof which we had to patch-up (I invite you to try and find the mistake), but it's here again, after a year or two of quiet:

www.gadzooxtian.com/infinity/xprmnt.shtml

Another sexy moment of revelation...

I got called a hipster (again).
This time not at a death metal gig, but that's beside the point.
That's when it occurred to me:

I'm not a hipster.

I'm the guy hipsters wanna be!!!!!

(Do hipsters even exist anymore? Do you care?)

Been sick but not lazy, no sir...

Well, had to stay home for a week coz I lost my voice. I need it for work so I had no choice but to remain housebound.
I planned to play a lot of Xbox, but instead I made a bunch of art stuff.
Finished all the SFX on the Micturating Angel cartoon (visit the Angel HERE).
Then I made little fillums and songs.
Long story short, here's some new Fat Little Bastard, followed by some new Museum of Love & Mystery !



From the new Ep: Left Arm of the Galaxy/ Right Arm of the Galaxy Stream it / Buy it HERE


From the new Ep: i must be seeing things Stream it/ Buy it HERE
Wowee!!! Sonic frolix ahoy!

Excuse me, your inner self is showing

Just occurred to me that collages - MY collages anyway-, are a Rorschach Test. Supposedly surreal art reveals the inner workings of the 'artist', but I have to say for years I've been looking at my stuff and wondering what the Hell I'm doing. People ask "what does it mean?", and I have no idea, or the explanation I do have is so silly as to reveal nothing more except that I'm silly.

However, people insist that my pictures MUST have a meaning, so I ask them what they think it means and eventually they tell me - often seeing things there that I never did.

Conclusion: my collages are Rorschach Tests. You see a strange image and you must explain it, but only in terms YOU understand. This is how I see it... This is MY interpretation...

I mean seriously, what am I trying to say with this pikkie (below)? Anyone? Wanna Rorschach it?

"Och there's poop in my eye. laddie!"

Ever get bored at work?

So do I.
And then you start opening folders on your work computer. 
And you find the Pictures folder.
Party time.
(No copyright on these pix - take 'em!)
(more pikkies soon)

The Meaning of Life

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=752233334823656&fref=nf

It's not rocket surgery.