My genius will never be understood in my lifetime - it's okay, neither will yours.

Anyways, so I recorded this piss-funny black metal parody album in 2007, and it was meant to be stupid as crap. I had a dodgy bass guitar with a cheap distortion pedal and a tiny practice amp. I discovered that most of the chaps responsible for Norwegian Black Metal were just Dungeons & Dragons nerds (been there, done that). American Evangelists used to pick on D&D as the Devil's Game - and obviously they were right! I mean church-burnings? Murder? Yup, rolling them dice is rollin' with Satan, son.
Now how was I NOT going to make a band based around this malarkey?
Well, long story short, 666 Sided Dice by +3 BROADSWORD (album logo designed with a pen between my toes) was written and recorded in about 2 days. It has become a contentious, controversial album - you will find bootlegs of it on black metal blogs and ppl debating if it is trve kvlt - or trve bollocks.
It is both.
I basically tried to be as cliched as possible, and as raw as possible (BM is not supposed to be fun, remember all you pipsqueak youngsters out there: NO FUN, NO MOSH - BM is supposed to be yoo gee ell fuckin why).
Anyways, here's the best review I've come across:
www.metal-archives.com/reviews/%2B3_Broadsword/666_Sided_Dice/202893/Valfars_Ghost/362797#more

- it had me wiping tears with laughter. He totally nails how awful this thing is, but he also thinks I'm being serious.... XD

So while you read it, put on the album, just below:

New music from FAT LITTLE BASTARD

Ladies and Gentlemen, my new Fat Little Bastard Ep: UNCOMPROMISING SOUP.

Like a good bowl of soup, we have a mish-mash of ingredients that combined make a great meal. Kicking off on our palate is the doo-wop-industrial-somekindapunk "She Came from the Sky" (part 1 in fact of a soon to be published trilogy); we then continue to gargle on something that "May Contain Faeces" (really it contains some jazzyness and what may be a theremin); then take a spoon to the surreal hip-hop chunks of "Not a Rap". We finally lick the bowl clean in the company of "Horatio", a ceiling-smasher and a floor-creeper of a song.

ENJOY.

Collaboration with Devin Townsend?

Oh!
My!
Fuh!
King!
God!
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)

... is what I would screech Devin-style if the headline were true - but this is the Internet chums, so EVERYTHING is true.

More precisely - according to this website:

http://www.ouvirmusica.net/baixar/ogKMWwJXSRR.html
(click the link or just scope the screenshot below)

Exhibit A

Devin has written the lyrics to my song Flying to Patagonia!

Land of giant sloths!!!

And that would be one of the top ten things to ever happen to me- if it were true!

But it ain't!

I wrote them and they're a lot simpler than Heavy Devy's lyrics.

This man is not my lyricist.

The lyrics listed are from Devin's Bastard from Ocean Machine, a very fine album but bugger all to do with me.

Still, should anyone google Fat Little Bastard (my band - scope it [HERE]), it will now forever be linked with this lovely chap's name c/o some slacker Spaniards (Portugese? I donno.).

AND THAT IS GOOD.

Makes me wanna say:

Oh!

My!

Fuh!

King!

God!

(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)

(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)

There is no insanity - only super-sanity

Fat Little Bastard 15th Anniversary Podcast

Great Googly Moogly! I make musics - did you know I make musics? Well, not as much as I used to, BUT here's 15 years of my band FAT LITTLE BASTARD squeezed into one podcast by the lovely Mat Blackwell. You will hear psychedelia, pop, rock, metal, electronica, arty stuff, a ditty about David Bowie and a song about poo. FLB is my brain put to music. May get noisy or very funny. Turn it up!!!!

New song from The Museum of Love & Mystery

A new tune by one of my many musical projects, the Musuem of Love & Mystery:

It's a melody that popped into my head whilst eating mediocre ramen... And all through recording this thing (whole thing done in about 3-4 hours), I kept thinking "A man like Muhammad Ali is dead, and a putrid arseface like Trump is alive." So that more or less sums up 2016 so far, folks. (Personally, I'm doing good, but the human race - yikes!)
Oh yeah - you can download it for free from bandcamp.

Time for some sexy blasphemy...

Easter (blasphemous black metal) is back.
Composed and recorded Easter 2016.


It's not everyone's cuppa...

Been sick but not lazy, no sir...

Well, had to stay home for a week coz I lost my voice. I need it for work so I had no choice but to remain housebound.
I planned to play a lot of Xbox, but instead I made a bunch of art stuff.
Finished all the SFX on the Micturating Angel cartoon (visit the Angel HERE).
Then I made little fillums and songs.
Long story short, here's some new Fat Little Bastard, followed by some new Museum of Love & Mystery !



From the new Ep: Left Arm of the Galaxy/ Right Arm of the Galaxy Stream it / Buy it HERE


From the new Ep: i must be seeing things Stream it/ Buy it HERE
Wowee!!! Sonic frolix ahoy!

+3 Broadsword interview

I got interviewed by FOREVER SLAIN online metal zine.
Check it:

http://foreverslainzine.com/2015/03/interview-3-broadsword-black-metal-from-australia/

No false metal here