Written and recorded mostly during the 6 month long 2020 Melbourne Covid Lockdown, this is a tremendous sequel to Fat Little Bastard's 2004 experimental double album "Oskorei Jazz Cafe 1 & 2". That effort began with a question: "If the founders of Norwegian Black Metal were to hang out in a cafe - what music would they be listening to?" This follow-up may or may not be the answer, but it's definitely a valiant effort. Containing a fusion of multiple genres stapled onto bits of jazz - we get mindbendy tunes about your face and my face too - a meeting of friends to sing about chicken necks - sonic destruction at a ski lodge - smooth jazz guitars humming along to leaf-blowers - and have I mentioned the Enya cover? There's an Enya cover. (But don't forget there's also a part 3.) All these superdooper songs are (C) Xtian/KVEldritch, 2021 ("Caribbean Blue" by Nick Ryan / Eith Ni-bhraonain / Roma Shane Ryan). Thanks to everyone appearing on "Chicken Necks" (full list at above URL).
Howdy! My name is XTIAN, I am a surrealistical artist guy from Melbournia. This be a blog of my arts, a sort of "what's new?" with regards to everything from collages to music to film. I make a lot of stuff (mostly collages though. Do you? Get in touch.) WARNING: some of this gear may be NSFW. For more of my stuff see www.gadzooxtian.com .
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Friday, December 3, 2021
Fat Little Bastard - Oskorei Jazz Cafe 4
Written and recorded mostly during the 6 month long 2020 Melbourne Covid Lockdown, this is a tremendous sequel to Fat Little Bastard's 2004 experimental double album "Oskorei Jazz Cafe 1 & 2". That effort began with a question: "If the founders of Norwegian Black Metal were to hang out in a cafe - what music would they be listening to?" This follow-up may or may not be the answer, but it's definitely a valiant effort. Containing a fusion of multiple genres stapled onto bits of jazz - we get mindbendy tunes about your face and my face too - a meeting of friends to sing about chicken necks - sonic destruction at a ski lodge - smooth jazz guitars humming along to leaf-blowers - and have I mentioned the Enya cover? There's an Enya cover. (But don't forget there's also a part 3.) All these superdooper songs are (C) Xtian/KVEldritch, 2021 ("Caribbean Blue" by Nick Ryan / Eith Ni-bhraonain / Roma Shane Ryan). Thanks to everyone appearing on "Chicken Necks" (full list at above URL).
Friday, August 31, 2018
My genius will never be understood in my lifetime - it's okay, neither will yours.
Anyways, so I recorded this piss-funny black metal parody album in 2007, and it was meant to be stupid as crap. I had a dodgy bass guitar with a cheap distortion pedal and a tiny practice amp. I discovered that most of the chaps responsible for Norwegian Black Metal were just Dungeons & Dragons nerds (been there, done that). American Evangelists used to pick on D&D as the Devil's Game - and obviously they were right! I mean church-burnings? Murder? Yup, rolling them dice is rollin' with Satan, son.
Now how was I NOT going to make a band based around this malarkey?
Well, long story short, 666 Sided Dice by +3 BROADSWORD (album logo designed with a pen between my toes) was written and recorded in about 2 days. It has become a contentious, controversial album - you will find bootlegs of it on black metal blogs and ppl debating if it is trve kvlt - or trve bollocks.
It is both.
I basically tried to be as cliched as possible, and as raw as possible (BM is not supposed to be fun, remember all you pipsqueak youngsters out there: NO FUN, NO MOSH - BM is supposed to be yoo gee ell fuckin why).
Anyways, here's the best review I've come across:
www.metal-archives.com/reviews/%2B3_Broadsword/666_Sided_Dice/202893/Valfars_Ghost/362797#more
- it had me wiping tears with laughter. He totally nails how awful this thing is, but he also thinks I'm being serious.... XD
So while you read it, put on the album, just below:
Anyways, so I recorded this piss-funny black metal parody album in 2007, and it was meant to be stupid as crap. I had a dodgy bass guitar with a cheap distortion pedal and a tiny practice amp. I discovered that most of the chaps responsible for Norwegian Black Metal were just Dungeons & Dragons nerds (been there, done that). American Evangelists used to pick on D&D as the Devil's Game - and obviously they were right! I mean church-burnings? Murder? Yup, rolling them dice is rollin' with Satan, son.
Now how was I NOT going to make a band based around this malarkey?
Well, long story short, 666 Sided Dice by +3 BROADSWORD (album logo designed with a pen between my toes) was written and recorded in about 2 days. It has become a contentious, controversial album - you will find bootlegs of it on black metal blogs and ppl debating if it is trve kvlt - or trve bollocks.
It is both.
I basically tried to be as cliched as possible, and as raw as possible (BM is not supposed to be fun, remember all you pipsqueak youngsters out there: NO FUN, NO MOSH - BM is supposed to be yoo gee ell fuckin why).
Anyways, here's the best review I've come across:
www.metal-archives.com/reviews/%2B3_Broadsword/666_Sided_Dice/202893/Valfars_Ghost/362797#more
- it had me wiping tears with laughter. He totally nails how awful this thing is, but he also thinks I'm being serious.... XD
So while you read it, put on the album, just below:
Friday, February 16, 2018
New music from FAT LITTLE BASTARD
Ladies and Gentlemen, my new Fat Little Bastard Ep: UNCOMPROMISING SOUP.
Like a good bowl of soup, we have a mish-mash of ingredients that combined make a great meal. Kicking off on our palate is the doo-wop-industrial-somekindapunk "She Came from the Sky" (part 1 in fact of a soon to be published trilogy); we then continue to gargle on something that "May Contain Faeces" (really it contains some jazzyness and what may be a theremin); then take a spoon to the surreal hip-hop chunks of "Not a Rap". We finally lick the bowl clean in the company of "Horatio", a ceiling-smasher and a floor-creeper of a song.
Like a good bowl of soup, we have a mish-mash of ingredients that combined make a great meal. Kicking off on our palate is the doo-wop-industrial-somekindapunk "She Came from the Sky" (part 1 in fact of a soon to be published trilogy); we then continue to gargle on something that "May Contain Faeces" (really it contains some jazzyness and what may be a theremin); then take a spoon to the surreal hip-hop chunks of "Not a Rap". We finally lick the bowl clean in the company of "Horatio", a ceiling-smasher and a floor-creeper of a song.
ENJOY.
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Collaboration with Devin Townsend?
Oh!
My!
Fuh!
King!
God!
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
... is what I would screech Devin-style if the headline were true - but this is the Internet chums, so EVERYTHING is true.
More precisely - according to this website:
http://www.ouvirmusica.net/baixar/ogKMWwJXSRR.html
(click the link or just scope the screenshot below)
Devin has written the lyrics to my song Flying to Patagonia!
And that would be one of the top ten things to ever happen to me- if it were true!
But it ain't!
I wrote them and they're a lot simpler than Heavy Devy's lyrics.
There is no insanity - only super-sanity
My!
Fuh!
King!
God!
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
... is what I would screech Devin-style if the headline were true - but this is the Internet chums, so EVERYTHING is true.
More precisely - according to this website:
http://www.ouvirmusica.net/baixar/ogKMWwJXSRR.html
(click the link or just scope the screenshot below)
Exhibit A
Devin has written the lyrics to my song Flying to Patagonia!
Land of giant sloths!!!
And that would be one of the top ten things to ever happen to me- if it were true!
But it ain't!
I wrote them and they're a lot simpler than Heavy Devy's lyrics.
This man is not my lyricist.
The lyrics listed are from Devin's Bastard from Ocean Machine, a very fine album but bugger all to do with me.
Still, should anyone google Fat Little Bastard (my band - scope it [HERE]), it will now forever be linked with this lovely chap's name c/o some slacker Spaniards (Portugese? I donno.).
AND THAT IS GOOD.
Makes me wanna say:
Oh!
My!
Fuh!
King!
God!
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
(duh-dumm-dumm-dumm-dumm-dadadadadadada)
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Fat Little Bastard 15th Anniversary Podcast
Great Googly Moogly! I make musics - did you know I make musics? Well, not as much as I used to, BUT here's 15 years of my band FAT LITTLE BASTARD squeezed into one podcast by the lovely Mat Blackwell. You will hear psychedelia, pop, rock, metal, electronica, arty stuff, a ditty about David Bowie and a song about poo. FLB is my brain put to music. May get noisy or very funny. Turn it up!!!!
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Can I Play with Cap'n Beefheart's Commodore 64?
...is a question you should be asking yourself, often.
Allow me to expand on this.
So when I was a kid, I had a Commodore 64. It was THE GREATEST FUCKING THING I EVER OWNED, thanks Dad! (No joke.)
So there was a game there called Hawkeye - you're like a cyborg in your underpants, shooting stuff - how good is that?! Anyhoo, have a listen to the game soundtrack, it's killer. In particular, have a listen to the riff at 10:00. Very nice - catchy! The game, btw, is from 1988.
Now comes Exhibit B: Iron Maiden's Can I play with Madness? Truthfully, I'm not a Maiden fan, they have many great songs, but I can't sit through a whole album - too cheesy. But Madness is a great song - especially that riff... Have a listen.
The song is from 1988. Are we beginning to sniff a pattern here? No? Yes? Don't answer, here comes Exhibit C: Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band with Moody Liz. You will not diss the Captain - EVER.
So behold this ditty, but for the purpose of our adventure, I implore you to fast forward to 3:36 and crank it. Oh and note, this song was recorded 1967 or 68.
This is what living in Heaven sounds like.
Soooooooooooooooooo, fellow cannibals, what have we sniffed out here?
Aha!
Something about a particular riff if I've done my job well.
Don't think about it too hard because all this is merely the intro(!) to a mash-up masterpiece by... me!
Special guest appearances by Arthur Brown and Zappa. Go on, clicky - it's awesome!
Allow me to expand on this.
So when I was a kid, I had a Commodore 64. It was THE GREATEST FUCKING THING I EVER OWNED, thanks Dad! (No joke.)
So there was a game there called Hawkeye - you're like a cyborg in your underpants, shooting stuff - how good is that?! Anyhoo, have a listen to the game soundtrack, it's killer. In particular, have a listen to the riff at 10:00. Very nice - catchy! The game, btw, is from 1988.
Now comes Exhibit B: Iron Maiden's Can I play with Madness? Truthfully, I'm not a Maiden fan, they have many great songs, but I can't sit through a whole album - too cheesy. But Madness is a great song - especially that riff... Have a listen.
Yes amigo, that IS Graham Chapman in his last acting assignment!
The song is from 1988. Are we beginning to sniff a pattern here? No? Yes? Don't answer, here comes Exhibit C: Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band with Moody Liz. You will not diss the Captain - EVER.
So behold this ditty, but for the purpose of our adventure, I implore you to fast forward to 3:36 and crank it. Oh and note, this song was recorded 1967 or 68.
This is what living in Heaven sounds like.
Soooooooooooooooooo, fellow cannibals, what have we sniffed out here?
Aha!
Something about a particular riff if I've done my job well.
Don't think about it too hard because all this is merely the intro(!) to a mash-up masterpiece by... me!
Special guest appearances by Arthur Brown and Zappa. Go on, clicky - it's awesome!
The world needs and deserves this!
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
New song from The Museum of Love & Mystery
A new tune by one of my many musical projects, the Musuem of Love & Mystery:
It's a melody that popped into my head whilst eating mediocre ramen... And all through recording this thing (whole thing done in about 3-4 hours), I kept thinking "A man like Muhammad Ali is dead, and a putrid arseface like Trump is alive." So that more or less sums up 2016 so far, folks. (Personally, I'm doing good, but the human race - yikes!)
Oh yeah - you can download it for free from bandcamp.
It's a melody that popped into my head whilst eating mediocre ramen... And all through recording this thing (whole thing done in about 3-4 hours), I kept thinking "A man like Muhammad Ali is dead, and a putrid arseface like Trump is alive." So that more or less sums up 2016 so far, folks. (Personally, I'm doing good, but the human race - yikes!)
Oh yeah - you can download it for free from bandcamp.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Can I Play with Madness?
I just made this - I can't believe no-one's thought of this before... or maybe they have and I just donno 'boudit...
This pikkie is a parody - no copyright infringement intended.
Just have a jolly good laugh, eh wot?
;-)
. . .
In case you donno, the song in question:
And this is Madness:
(Ever see goths dance to this? I have. Brilliant!)
. . .
In case you donno, the song in question:
And this is Madness:
(Ever see goths dance to this? I have. Brilliant!)
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Surreal chance enounter
I was just listening to a band called Schizoid Lloyd (all links below) and reading Attack on Titan at the same time. And I came to this page, just as the band sang "Millions of rocks are falling from the sky"... !
Listen to Schizoid Lloyd [ HERE ]
Read Attack on Titan [ HERE ]
WHAT AWESOME COINCIDENCE!!!
Listen to Schizoid Lloyd [ HERE ]
Read Attack on Titan [ HERE ]
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Time for some sexy blasphemy...
Easter (blasphemous black metal) is back.
Composed and recorded Easter 2016.
It's not everyone's cuppa...
Composed and recorded Easter 2016.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Been sick but not lazy, no sir...
Well, had to stay home for a week coz I lost my voice. I need it for work so I had no choice but to remain housebound.
I planned to play a lot of Xbox, but instead I made a bunch of art stuff.
Finished all the SFX on the Micturating Angel cartoon (visit the Angel HERE).
Then I made little fillums and songs.
Long story short, here's some new Fat Little Bastard, followed by some new Museum of Love & Mystery !
From the new Ep: Left Arm of the Galaxy/ Right Arm of the Galaxy
Stream it / Buy it HERE
From the new Ep: i must be seeing things
Stream it/ Buy it HERE
Wowee!!! Sonic frolix ahoy!
I planned to play a lot of Xbox, but instead I made a bunch of art stuff.
Finished all the SFX on the Micturating Angel cartoon (visit the Angel HERE).
Then I made little fillums and songs.
Long story short, here's some new Fat Little Bastard, followed by some new Museum of Love & Mystery !
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Music is EVIL, yay!
My good friend A Demon Sheen of the IWML has an awesome podcast called Radio Earthling you should be paying attention to if you like your music WEEEEIRD.
He's asked me to put together an episode, so here be it:
He's asked me to put together an episode, so here be it:
Oh yes, its NSFW, like all good things made for adults tend to be.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Funny story... If you like 'em morbid
I yak to people for a living. I ask them questions.
One of the last questions is a multiple choice, asking them about their current living arrangements.
The first option is:
1. Partner and no children
EVERY TIME I see the words "no children", this song below pops into my head.
This happens several times a day, so it's a good thing I like the song.
Enjoy the morbidity - turn it up LOUD and sing along!!
One of the last questions is a multiple choice, asking them about their current living arrangements.
The first option is:
1. Partner and no children
EVERY TIME I see the words "no children", this song below pops into my head.
This happens several times a day, so it's a good thing I like the song.
Enjoy the morbidity - turn it up LOUD and sing along!!
Hilarity?! Hell to da Yeah!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
+3 Broadsword interview
I got interviewed by FOREVER SLAIN online metal zine.
Check it:
http://foreverslainzine.com/2015/03/interview-3-broadsword-black-metal-from-australia/
Check it:
http://foreverslainzine.com/2015/03/interview-3-broadsword-black-metal-from-australia/
No false metal here
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
New Fat Little Bastard album!!!! ( + updated links)
Heil fellows!
First - new Fat Little Bastard album!
This is the 14th album by FLB (not counting the 8 eps), and is called Shhh... Shut the Fuck Up and Listen to This. There's a lot of noise in the world by idiots, maybe they should just siddown and chillax with some music. Maybe even MY music... Either way, shut the fuck up.
Anyhoo, I've got 14 rapid punches in your ear waiting to go, songs about beards on surf demons, about Al Jourgensen from Ministry, and The Boy Who Came Back from the Dead rides again (for the third time!) as well.
Check out this bad boy in its entirety HERE.
"Is there merch for this amazing piece of music?", I hear you whine into the aether. Oh man, is there ever! Clicky HERE, bozo!
Re: fixed links. A lot of the links on the USCDS merch page at redbubble were old and outdated but they are now all fixed. Links from T-shirts go to the bandcamp site where you can stream/ download my musics. Woop-woop!
Leave it where you found it!
First - new Fat Little Bastard album!
This is the 14th album by FLB (not counting the 8 eps), and is called Shhh... Shut the Fuck Up and Listen to This. There's a lot of noise in the world by idiots, maybe they should just siddown and chillax with some music. Maybe even MY music... Either way, shut the fuck up.
Anyhoo, I've got 14 rapid punches in your ear waiting to go, songs about beards on surf demons, about Al Jourgensen from Ministry, and The Boy Who Came Back from the Dead rides again (for the third time!) as well.
Check out this bad boy in its entirety HERE.
"Is there merch for this amazing piece of music?", I hear you whine into the aether. Oh man, is there ever! Clicky HERE, bozo!
Re: fixed links. A lot of the links on the USCDS merch page at redbubble were old and outdated but they are now all fixed. Links from T-shirts go to the bandcamp site where you can stream/ download my musics. Woop-woop!
Thursday, January 22, 2015
New music - THE BERMUDA PENTAGRAM
Ladies and Gentlefolk, I am proud to present a new genre in music:
Huh?
A collision of surf rock and black metal if you will. Now let me point out for purists that this is not trve kvlt black metal, this is necro metal - harsh, gritty, but nought to do with Satan(ism). These are songs of the horrors of the deep blue, of the tropics, of the Tiki gods, cannibals, etc.
So without further ado, Behold!,
THE BERMUDA PENTAGRAM
The debut Ep, Seventh Son of the Seventh Sea (yes, a Maiden reference [know your metal, click HERE ]) contains 5 epic tracks of surf-rock boogie colliding head-on with dark blastbeats and hideous ghost shrieks. Make no mistake - this album is dancey AND br00tal.
A collision of surf and hard rock/ metal is not so new. The Dead Kennedys have hooked it up with punk/ hardcore, Trey Spruance has attached it to EVERYTHING ever (Mr.Bungle, Secret Chiefs 3), and there's Zorn's Naked City. I would also like to doff my hat to THIS - something The Bermuda Pentagram does not sound like, but is a big fan of.
How is TBP different? I'm a fan of surf rock, more of modern stuff (eg: Hawaii Samurai , The Tomorrow Men), but I find whenever bands try to conjure up shark attacks or UFOs - well, it just ain't creepy enough. That's where metal is king, so why not go there? And since it's all about tremolo, why not go for the homerun and aim for Black Metal, or at least the necro sound? (Know your metal, click HERE.)
Enter The Bermuda Pentagram - five times as mean and dangerous as the Bermuda Triangle, with party vibes and deadly shark attacks, headshrinkers, and even Ku, Hawaii's god of War!
Catchy surf riffs, beeping Hammonds, blastbeats and shrieks - you've not heard nothing like it, and this is just the beginning.
Tell EVERYONE!!!
\m/ Death to false metal!! \m/
IMPURE NECRO SURF METAL.
A collision of surf rock and black metal if you will. Now let me point out for purists that this is not trve kvlt black metal, this is necro metal - harsh, gritty, but nought to do with Satan(ism). These are songs of the horrors of the deep blue, of the tropics, of the Tiki gods, cannibals, etc.
So without further ado, Behold!,
THE BERMUDA PENTAGRAM
A collision of surf and hard rock/ metal is not so new. The Dead Kennedys have hooked it up with punk/ hardcore, Trey Spruance has attached it to EVERYTHING ever (Mr.Bungle, Secret Chiefs 3), and there's Zorn's Naked City. I would also like to doff my hat to THIS - something The Bermuda Pentagram does not sound like, but is a big fan of.
How is TBP different? I'm a fan of surf rock, more of modern stuff (eg: Hawaii Samurai , The Tomorrow Men), but I find whenever bands try to conjure up shark attacks or UFOs - well, it just ain't creepy enough. That's where metal is king, so why not go there? And since it's all about tremolo, why not go for the homerun and aim for Black Metal, or at least the necro sound? (Know your metal, click HERE.)
Enter The Bermuda Pentagram - five times as mean and dangerous as the Bermuda Triangle, with party vibes and deadly shark attacks, headshrinkers, and even Ku, Hawaii's god of War!
Catchy surf riffs, beeping Hammonds, blastbeats and shrieks - you've not heard nothing like it, and this is just the beginning.
Rock out HERE
Grab a T-shirt HERETell EVERYONE!!!
\m/ Death to false metal!! \m/
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Working on two albums...
... by two bands. Expect new FAT LITTLE BASTARD (who? [HERE]) and another as yet secret project appearing very soon!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
New T-shirt design
For my band Fat Little Bastard (who? Click HERE).
New music soon - for now - new T-shirt!
Click the pikkie to go to the online store (opens in new tab/ window).
New music soon - for now - new T-shirt!
Click the pikkie to go to the online store (opens in new tab/ window).
image c/o redbubble.com
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Music by Maniacs
My good buddy Mat Blackwell has written a rather interesting (philosophical) article about art and murder.
As in art by murderers.
Is it OK to like it? Why or why not?
The article is actually very good, and yours truly has been quoted in it as we sort of discussed this issue back n' forth via email.
Whilst it mostly deals with metal muzax, it's not written just for metalheads - like I say, it's an article about art "in extremis".
Read it here:
Music by Maniacs: Navigating the Tricky Ethics of Enjoying Art Made by Bad People
http://heathenharvest.org/2014/05/30/music-by-maniacs-navigating-the-tricky-ethics-of-enjoying-art-made-by-bad-people/#f3
(link will open in a new page/ tab)
As in art by murderers.
Is it OK to like it? Why or why not?
The article is actually very good, and yours truly has been quoted in it as we sort of discussed this issue back n' forth via email.
Whilst it mostly deals with metal muzax, it's not written just for metalheads - like I say, it's an article about art "in extremis".
Read it here:
Music by Maniacs: Navigating the Tricky Ethics of Enjoying Art Made by Bad People
http://heathenharvest.org/2014/05/30/music-by-maniacs-navigating-the-tricky-ethics-of-enjoying-art-made-by-bad-people/#f3
(link will open in a new page/ tab)
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