The Micturating Angel #13 - OUT NOW

Click the image to go there!

New Micturating Angel T-shirt

HEY! - is this guy fly or what?! (Nyuk-nyuk) Get your own bright yellow Micturating Angel T-shirt (the one that dares to ask the difficult questions, like “Is there a cure for art?”, or something like that…). Get it at https://www.redbubble.com/people/gadzooxtian/works/35618982-there-is-a-cure-the-micturating-angel?asc=u&p=t-shirt - and by the way there’s a sale on, so you get 25% off if you use the code ROBOT25 at the checkout. Make that Fly suck it! 

The Micturating Angel Issue #12 - OUT NOW

My collage comic series - the one applauded by the Rev. Stang of the Church of the Subgenius (seriously, check it out HERE), continues with Issue #12!

So click the image to go there - and get reading!

to be continued... NEXT WEEK!

LIKE The Micturating Angel on facebook: HERE.
See the Micturating Angel Cartoon: HERE.
Buy the book: HERE.
T-shirts!!! HERE

The Micturating Angel - Issue #11 OUT NOW

LAAAAADIEEEEES AND JENNAMENNN!!!

IT gives me great pleasure to announce the release of the next issue of THE MICTURATING ANGEL, namely issue #11. All hand-made/ analog collages (but with some computer magic for ShadowgirlCarol’s adventures).

You’ve not seen anything like it - and that’s a factual fact! No fake news here, only primo, choice cut collages! So what are you waiting for?

ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK - right HERE.

Here's your Xmas prezzie!

It's cheaper than photocopying it...

My collage book The Micturating Angel (issues 1 - 10) is out now! It'll break your brain - forever!

I know... love at first sight...

The Back-stroking Gnostic, Chapter 1

I wrote a novella a few years back whilst sitting at my desk at work. I get a bit bored at work, and reading the novella - you can tell. Don't have a copy of the book? I come to your rescue with a series of videos of me reading it out loud. If you like surreal buffoonery, people laughing at their own jokes AND a lot of shouting - these are the videos for you.
Here's Chapter 1.

No need to thank me.

The Infinite Collage has been updated!!!!

Well friends, here it is, the NEW and IMPROVED and UPDATED infinite collage!!! 

http://www.gadzooxtian.com/infinity/index.shtml

Alas, it's not quite 80m long, but it's grown almost as long as Robert Pershing Wadlow was (ie: the world's tallest man). For those who don't want to scroll through the whole thing and just want to see the latest update, go here: http://www.gadzooxtian.com/infinity/2018.shtml . And by the way - when you stare into the infinite collage - it stares back into you, mooohahahahahaha!!!! (You'll see what I mean!)

My genius will never be understood in my lifetime - it's okay, neither will yours.

Anyways, so I recorded this piss-funny black metal parody album in 2007, and it was meant to be stupid as crap. I had a dodgy bass guitar with a cheap distortion pedal and a tiny practice amp. I discovered that most of the chaps responsible for Norwegian Black Metal were just Dungeons & Dragons nerds (been there, done that). American Evangelists used to pick on D&D as the Devil's Game - and obviously they were right! I mean church-burnings? Murder? Yup, rolling them dice is rollin' with Satan, son.
Now how was I NOT going to make a band based around this malarkey?
Well, long story short, 666 Sided Dice by +3 BROADSWORD (album logo designed with a pen between my toes) was written and recorded in about 2 days. It has become a contentious, controversial album - you will find bootlegs of it on black metal blogs and ppl debating if it is trve kvlt - or trve bollocks.
It is both.
I basically tried to be as cliched as possible, and as raw as possible (BM is not supposed to be fun, remember all you pipsqueak youngsters out there: NO FUN, NO MOSH - BM is supposed to be yoo gee ell fuckin why).
Anyways, here's the best review I've come across:
www.metal-archives.com/reviews/%2B3_Broadsword/666_Sided_Dice/202893/Valfars_Ghost/362797#more

- it had me wiping tears with laughter. He totally nails how awful this thing is, but he also thinks I'm being serious.... XD

So while you read it, put on the album, just below:

Did I tell you about the time I invented Steampunk?

True story.
Back in 1999, I invented Steampunk.
Complete with steam engines and Victorian gentlemen.
I've got proof- read on.

"But Mr.X, The Difference Engine by Bruce Sterling and William Gibson came out in 1990!", I hear you screech and rightfully so.

I didn't read that book till about... lemme think... 2005? Sounds about right. The above is the paperback edition I had. It's kinda good but kinda boring, I find Bruce Sterling has wonderful ideas (and I follow his tumblr avidly), but his writing is so dry and s-l-o-w.

But back to me.
In 1999, I got obsessed with the Eiffel Tower. It was in my head all the time, along with Wells' War of the Worlds. I knew these to be the greatest things ever, and the tower was the centre of the world. I started making artworks with images thereof.

This was going to be the ribcage of something bigger, but I liked it as is.

Then I discovered this song:

This song was waaaaaaay influential on my song-writing too!

Well, the deal was sealed, friends.

I invented a place called EUROPEA, where gentlemen with steam engines in their backs would roam. I thought the idea of a man with a chimney in his back was the best thing ever.

I was going to make a whole book about the word of Europea, but I never got there. Still, I made a few pikkies which are still around. So let's see:

For largely self-taught Photoshop in 1999, this ain't so bad.
Here's more:

Sunday Afternoon Music-lovers - this became the cover for the first Fat Little Bastard album [HERE].

And then came the Paris vs. Venus series, the idea being that in 1800 A.D., we got attacked by Venus. Things got bad, but we eventually beat them on April 27f (yes, April 27f, that's not a typo). Behold:

Paris vs. Venus, 1800 A.D.

Day Fifteen

Atomic Attack

Scopophilia Holocaust

Aerial Battle No. 39

Postcard of Venus

Day Fifteen prompted a friend of mine to declare "it's the most misogynistic work I've ever seen", which lead me to make business cards that said XTIAN - Surrealist & Misogynist - "I've yet to see a monkey with nice breasts!" (a quote from another silly conversation).

Anyhoo, I started collecting old pictures and maps and so on to make more Europea with, but the project stalled and I never got back to it. Then I discovered others were doing things like this too, which made me lose interest even more. I never go to putting cogs on a hat, but I did have goggles back in 2000, and I used to rock an old Victorian coat with Freemason regalia attached.

So there it is - I invented Steampunk, a.k.a. Europea without knowing it already existed. Feels good.

questions...

If I stop making art as of RIGHT THE FUCK NOW (not that I will, but if I did), then I could look back proudly and say "I've made 1000s of pictures, written dozens of songs, dozens of stories and poems, have done many great fun performances and have helped a whole lotta creative types with their wondrous pursuits". I could say that without bragging - because it's a fact.

So I do I feel so lazy and unproductive?

Where does human guilt come from? How do we get rid of it? Is it by not giving a rat's arse? But that makes me feel kinda empty too.
Meh.
Anyhoo - back to your usual scheduling, I'm just "thinking out loud"...

O

ps: can't be arsed using instagram anymore...

Even more new collages...!

If you want to stay up-to-date with all my latest collages - head on over to:

https://gadzooxtian.tumblr.com/

I'm also on instagram at 

www.instagram.com/gadzooxtian/

#gadzooxtian 

Collage in the style of Larry Carlson

New collage

There are others too, but this one's a doozy.

Ugh, blargh, fart, vomitfuckoff

No disrespect to the artist's person, I'm sure they're an awesome character and maybe this work ain't indicative of their oeuvre, but looky this:

Yes, I posted it upside down on purpose. I can't remember the artist's name because it doesn't matter. Yes, I'm being rude - there is a point and you can be an adult and read on to find out or be a child and get "offended" and act like a dill.

My point: I am -

SO

FUCKING

SICK TO SHITS

of seeing "vintage" magazine illustrations in collage. It's such a fucking trend. Shit, you can walk into one of those hipster stores with all the sloth things and buy a framed "vintage" collage print and look all trendy.
Now I get that a lot of artists are using these images because they're now in the public domain or are royalty-free some other way, but fuck me!, you're just doing what every fucking art student is doing.

Why not just make collages? Yes, old glossies do have a particular style and feel and appeal, but EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU is doing it - which means they all look the fucking same.

(Which is why the artist's name doesn't matter here.)

Make collages. Use EVERYTHING. Books. Mags. Stamps. Brochures. Found bits of paper. Photographs. X-rays. Wrapping paper. Other collages. Anything fucking printed, painted, drawn, whatever. Use your supposed imagination.
But please.
STOP.
FOLLOWING.
TRENDS.

Shee-it...

The Micturating Angel cartoon

Here it is. Done. Animated, voiced, SFXd and musiced by me.
ENJOY.

So about that Micturating Angel cartoon...

You're gonna see it. You're gonna see it soon. I'm uploading it as we speak.

Mark my words! Steven my words! (Yep, I said that.)

A short comic based on a dream I had...

Can't believe I haven't out this online yet.... it's kinda NSFW if yer at work...

This could happen to you.

New book of collages by me!!!

Friends of me and otherwise!
I have a new collection of collages for your perusal and purchasing pleasure!
Ask yourself: why pay $300 for a collage when you can have 20 for only $30?
Exactly.
ENJOY!

We Do Look Pretty Strange to Folks from the Andromeda Galaxy

By XTIAN

About the book: 
Not a "best of", not a retrospective - these are just a handful of collages made by Melbourne artist XTIAN during 2017. Taking the reader to illusory places and scenarios, these images show us snippets from stories that are questions with no answers. Or maybe they're just weird stuff.

Another art rant that goes ... it goes.. it just goes.

You can read this article here: http://www.maryellenmark.com/text/magazines/rolling%20stone/920S-000-004.html . It’s not bad, but I’m not here to discuss the merits/ failures of Anton LaVey. I remember this article from when it came out - the bored/ unimpressed look on LaVey’s face as he discussed how the world has gone to shit, but not in a “Satanic” way (he’s very Nietzschean). President Clinton was being dragged through the mud at the time for sexing up his intern, which LaVey believed made his (LaVey’s) job very difficult: how are you supposed to be the devil incarnate if the very symbol of good, decency, morality, etc (ie: Clinton) is nought but corruption? (Politicians being liars and cheats is nothing new, but you get the point I hope.)

Well, I have a similar bone to pick, or at least chew on.

Every morning while sipping coffee, I flick through my tumblr feed. It is all art-related stuff, some new, some old. It takes me about 15-20 minutes to see dozens of images. I click the heart when I like stuff, I wish there was a frowny face for what I don’t. The accounts I ‘follow’ are mostly individual artists. I am one too.

As an individual artist, we try to follow our muse and make wonderful works. We hope these works will help us leave behind our day-jobs so we can focus on making great works all the time. It works for some, and others make art purely with $$$ in mind - each to their own (though some of it is soooo bad and sooo obviously made for $$$, but hey!, if you WANT to buy that, you’re welcome to it).

Anyhow, it occurred to me that some people do the same thing with my art: flick through a newsfeed, give my work (on a screen I believe to be way-too-fucking-small-to-see-it-properly) a quick glance, then move on. I am most grateful for those who actually follow my stuff, it’s always a surprise.

But think about: a quick glance.

I’ve made something that’s weird, unusual, ridiculous - and it’s appraisal is over in a glance. 

The Interwebs is FLOODED with images of weirdness, from art to silly pets to nature’s oddness to people behaving strangely. I’m not sure young people (in their teens/ twenties) today realise how in the early days of the Net how weird it was to realise through net-browsing how strange people actually are. We always thought others were nutty - now we had concrete proof, ranging from the Peter Pan guy (he’s still around) to goatse’s horrendous arse, to rotten.com challenging us not to spew, etc. But now it’s EVERYWHERE on the Net, it’s common place, heck there’s dozens of websites dedicated to it and you get bombarded by yr friends via f’book, etc.

It makes it hard to be a “weird” artist.

ESPECIALLY in the word we live in now - which I don’t think is that strange. Everyone’s always saying things are getting worse. No they’re not. 1) The Mongols ain’t coming and the Black Death is not in your streets. 2) You just have instant news from around the world, and weird news/ bad news gets more attention. 3) There is no “normal level of normalcy” that people/societies have ever existed at or that we’re ever likely to reach - just because white-people-world is mostly at peace at the moment it does not automatically imply that’s how it will always be. But the world sure does SEEM weird, since we have instant access to world-wide weird news.

And suddenly: your art ain’t all that weird. It only gets a glance.

And it’s “hard to be weird in a world so goddamn strange”.

I’m not so much complaining as musing, I make art because I can’t not make art. I’ve had some success with it and at times some fame with it, but none of those are motivating factors - though the $$$ would be most welcome.

But yeah, it’s most certainly hard to be a weird artist in a world so god-damn weird.

(ps: me on tumblr: https://gadzooxtian.tumblr.com/ AND https://surrealangelcomic.tumblr.com/ )

How long is the Infinite Collage really?

A question we get asked a lot, so to answer all our fans we did an experiment at the last MKULTRA meeting at the Horse Bazaar.
We stretched a piece of string as long as the collage is believed to be currently: 78.4m/ 256 feet.
It did not go without hitches, and was a rather funny experience.
AND WE FILMED IT.
So behold!, an amazing real-and-true live-action documentary with Thrills! Laughs! Lens flares! And length!! Such length!!! 


This really happened y'all!

New music from FAT LITTLE BASTARD

Ladies and Gentlemen, my new Fat Little Bastard Ep: UNCOMPROMISING SOUP.

Like a good bowl of soup, we have a mish-mash of ingredients that combined make a great meal. Kicking off on our palate is the doo-wop-industrial-somekindapunk "She Came from the Sky" (part 1 in fact of a soon to be published trilogy); we then continue to gargle on something that "May Contain Faeces" (really it contains some jazzyness and what may be a theremin); then take a spoon to the surreal hip-hop chunks of "Not a Rap". We finally lick the bowl clean in the company of "Horatio", a ceiling-smasher and a floor-creeper of a song.

ENJOY.

Infinite Collage 9th birthday celebration - your invite

Collages Old and New

I've been scanning in old collages as well as uploading new ones, such as this little beauty from a week ago:

Immaculate Inanity, or: For How Much Longer Do We Tolerate Painting?

(Jan, 2018)

See them all on my tumblr: gadzooxtian.tumblr.com . I'm also on instagram, but they censor pictures...