The Infinite Collage has been updated!!!!

Well friends, here it is, the NEW and IMPROVED and UPDATED infinite collage!!! 

http://www.gadzooxtian.com/infinity/index.shtml

Alas, it's not quite 80m long, but it's grown almost as long as Robert Pershing Wadlow was (ie: the world's tallest man). For those who don't want to scroll through the whole thing and just want to see the latest update, go here: http://www.gadzooxtian.com/infinity/2018.shtml . And by the way - when you stare into the infinite collage - it stares back into you, mooohahahahahaha!!!! (You'll see what I mean!)

How long is the Infinite Collage really?

A question we get asked a lot, so to answer all our fans we did an experiment at the last MKULTRA meeting at the Horse Bazaar.
We stretched a piece of string as long as the collage is believed to be currently: 78.4m/ 256 feet.
It did not go without hitches, and was a rather funny experience.
AND WE FILMED IT.
So behold!, an amazing real-and-true live-action documentary with Thrills! Laughs! Lens flares! And length!! Such length!!! 


This really happened y'all!

Infinite Collage 9th birthday celebration - your invite

Infinite Collage UPDATE

The Infinite Collage has been updated! Go here NOW:

http://infinity.gadzooxtian.com/xprmnt.shtml

If you don't know what the IC is: then go have a look. Prepare to have your mind bee-looown!

(Warning: there may be boobs)

THE INFINITE COLLAGE HAS BEEN UPDATED !!!

Hi there!

It has been a year, but The Infinite Collage has been updated with 4.19m worth of new stuff (this taking us to approx 75m/ 246 feet).

It's ridiculous. It almost didn't happen: I managed to lose 2 of the images I made for it, which I didn't realise until it was time for the update. Mat had 6 bits, I only had  four - what the Hell? But luckily I found them, they're now where they should be - and where you should be:

http://infinity.gadzooxtian.com/xprmnt.shtml

So go there!

This and other fantastic delights await you!

A novel called BEEF

My friend Mat has written a novel, and as a good buddy, I have to do a review because I think y'all should read it too. (Plus coz he wants to know what I think.)
It's called BEEF, and it looks like this from the outside:

But why should you read it?

To begin with - it's funny. If you've ever read A Conspiracy of Dunces by John K. Toole, you'd recall that book was very funny, whilst saying not all that much, with brilliant characters that jump off the page and annoy you. Mat's book is very funny, with well-written characters who don't annoy you - but he also has something to say.

It's a satirical sci-fi novel, so that means most female readers are out. But it's a satirical love story too - which means most male readers are out. That leaves either those identifying as neither - or as not human. Mat's novel, if ants could read - would make him a jillionaire.

Okay, so love story first. Straight up I tell you I'm no romance novel reader, the last (and only other) romance book I read was Wuthering Heights - and I threw that book right the fuck across the room (the only other book of that distinction being American Psycho - but that one grossed me out, yay!).

Not a fan of romancey stuff - I always want to skip over those bits - be it books or films. Having said that - this is a romance novel for bros. Dudes. Guys. Men, that is. At least it feels that way - a lot of it takes place in the protagonist's head (the titular Mr.Beef), who wonders and ponders about what if and how to get romantical and sexy with a woman he meets at a party. Problem being he's happily married, has a daughter and he also has big-time (plot-relevant) responsibilities.

Does he? Don't he? Will he? How will they? - these are all the questions and I shan't spoil it, but as Mat put it, "Can an affair be non-physical?" Which is the meat and potatoes of the novel, and poses some interesting dilemmas (dilemmae?) that are cogitated upon by our Mr.Beef. (Oh my god, this is really a book about a man thinking... there's a subgenre for ya!)

Speaking of meat and potatoes - meat is where the sci-fi kicks in. The novel is set in a not-too-distant future where meat is grown in vats in factories, and animals are no longer bred for food. Yes, Mat is a stinking vegan hippy, but don't let that put you off if you're thinking of being put off. The world he offers up is certainly no Jehovah's Witness' paradise with lambs laying down with tigers and/or smiling Aryans, oh no. 

The tigers are for Aryans only - everyone else gets to pat mutant two-headed koalas.

Here the released cattle have mutated and have become terrifying nocturnal beasts, pollution is still an issue, corporations are dominating every-goddamn thing, the media is infinitely worse than now (that'd be infinity to the power of infinity - which is infinity actually) ... Utopia this ain't. Which I love about this book - it makes plenty of points along the "meat is murder" line, but it doesn't stray into hysterical ranting territory. But it does speak against the meats - so if you're a hardcore carnivore, I guess that rules you out as a reader. (Meaning if ants could read - Mat would be back to square one.) It cleverly stays philosophical (pretty sure Mat's middle-name is Cleverlyphilosophical) whilst piling up some facts, letting you make your own call, but nonetheless with an agenda. But I emphasise - all without getting preachy or obnoxious. You may disagree with Mr.Blackwell and that is okay - it's your sodding problem. Meaning you should read this novel if you're a meatasaurus (I am), because his hypothetical future is a very interesting take on the whole issue - it works, but it's not without problems, because we're fucking humans. You savvy?

Instead it's an intriguing read (will they? won't they? [wait, is that intrigue or suspense?]), a very humorous read (the bits about the music industry had me laughing aloud on public transport), a thought-provoking read (the climax of the novel and Mat's somewhat nightmarish predictions for aforementioned music biz and the media), and a read with spelling mistakes, but you know, whatevz.

Now Mat wants you to know that this book is character-driven (or maybe he doesn't), and yes, his characters do come alive. Human, so human - they get confused, angry, happy, they have secrets, they have family complications and jobs and opinions of each other, histories and beliefs... (Oh man are there some amusing cults in this one!) Me being an anti-social nerd (I seek the anti-Buddha in everyone) and possibly border-line Aspy, I can't say I liked any of the characters (well, maybe Reginald and his wife, both Depressarian cultists) - but that's not Mat's fault, they are actually nicely fleshed out and - oh fuck me why aren't there spaceships in this novel?!!!! There I said it, I like books with spaceships.
Let's move on.

The writing style reminded me of Douglas Adams' Hitch-hiker's Guide series (those books had waaaay more spaceships Mat, take note), a jokey, almost conversational telling with the occasional hilariously placed profanity (I point this out because it works so well), the casual slip from high-brow novel wording to just bumbling ... um... looking for words... sheesh! Fuck! Fucking sheesh! - you get the idea. Great stuff.

So there ya have it. I don't know if I sold you Beef well or not, but I'm certainly glad I did read it - like I say, it was a fun read, and pour moi an eye-opener of a love story (or is it?) from a man's p.o.v. that wasn't all about "T&A"; and about those thought processes that are like a school bus balancing on the edge of a cliff... Think Lost in Translation, but not exactly...

And there's all kinds of things about this novel I haven't mentioned because they would be spoilers. "Can an affair be non-physical?" - asks Mr.Blackwell (yes, the Mat guy I been talking about). Read the sodding book and find out. It's funny!!!

Get it cheap as chips from here:
https://www.amazon.com/Mat-Blackwell/e/B01G4OI2Q4/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

Infinite Collage updated

So friends, behold!
The INFINITE COLLAGE has once again grown by 3 metres of pure psychedelia.

Mr.Blackwell and I invite you to please peruse this wondrous work of art

HERE

Check us out on BOREDPANDA.COM

Here's a lovely article on boredpanda.com about the infinite collage:

http://www.boredpanda.com/we-are-making-the-worlds-longest-piece-of-art/

If you donno what I'm talking about - click the darn link!

Infinite Collage has been updated!

It's about to turn 7 years old - it has just grown by 3 metres, there was a stuff-up in the making thereof which we had to patch-up (I invite you to try and find the mistake), but it's here again, after a year or two of quiet:

www.gadzooxtian.com/infinity/xprmnt.shtml

Music is EVIL, yay!

My good friend A Demon Sheen of the IWML has an awesome podcast called Radio Earthling you should be paying attention to if you like your music WEEEEIRD.
He's asked me to put together an episode, so here be it:

Episode 8: The Unpleasant Noise Is Not A Mistake by Iwml on Mixcloud

Oh yes, its NSFW, like all good things made for adults tend to be.

Deep Dreaming in Hell

Oh sure, everyone's uploaded every selfie ever taken to Deep Dream by now (what? Click HERE to find out). And the results can be wonderfully nightmare-ish. One gets a Lovecraftian sense of "lifting the veil", as monsters pop out from our faces, from darkened shadows, from bright white skies.
It's all too beautiful!
Now, at the suggestion of my good buddy Mat Blackwell (who? Click HERE ), I've uploaded my collage book The Hell to a deep dream site (http://deepdreams.zainshah.net/ - doesn't seem to be working anymore, but maybe it will for you).
Good thing I did it too - the results were astounding. The many insane characters of the book are now all validated: "DO YOU SEE!? DO YOU SEE THEM?! I WASN'T LYING, THERE ARE MONSTERS ALL AROUND US IN THE ÆTHER!!!"

Good times for all times!

Anyhoozers, here's a few randomly chosen pikkies from the book - I will be publishing the whole darn thing in the near future.

Music by Maniacs

My good buddy Mat Blackwell has written a rather interesting (philosophical) article about art and murder.

As in art by murderers.

Is it OK to like it? Why or why not?
The article is actually very good, and yours truly has been quoted in it as we sort of discussed this issue back n' forth via email.
Whilst it mostly deals with metal muzax, it's not written just for metalheads - like I say, it's an article about art "in extremis".
Read it here:

Music by Maniacs: Navigating the Tricky Ethics of Enjoying Art Made by Bad People
http://heathenharvest.org/2014/05/30/music-by-maniacs-navigating-the-tricky-ethics-of-enjoying-art-made-by-bad-people/#f3
(link will open in a new page/ tab)

The Return of +3 Broadsword: "thee Monstrous Compendium"

It's been 7 years since I first released +3 Broadsword's "666 Sided Dice" (title suggested by A Demon Sheen of "The Horn" ), a rough-as-guts black metal album with a purely Dungeons&Dragons theme. The idea was obvious: without D&D where would black metal be? So why not have a purely D&D themed black metal band? (Coz BM is about Satan , you tool!)
Anyhoo, as the entries below illustrate, people dug it, which is kinda neat.
Fast forward 7 years, and I've finally finished the follow-up:
thee Monstrous Compendium.

U R scared now

An improved, more epic sound, maybe better song-writing too, seven brutal and epic tales from the realms of fantasy.
Click HERE to stream it while you read the track-by-track breakdown.

1. At the gates of The Temple of Elemental Evil
An atmospheric instrumental opening track that sets the mood of epicness and darkness. It is also a nod to old man Burzum, who used the AD&D image on his debut album cover, thus establishing a clear connection.

BEFORE

AFTER

Heil Dungeon Master Varg Vikernes!

2. thee Monstrous Compendium
A fast and brutal track about the Bestiary/ Tome which contains the descriptions of so many of the monsters, freaks and beasts of the realms of D&D fantasy. A friend of mine had one years ago, we used to love flicking through it. The Beholder Beast was by far my favourite - a floating, snarling eyeball beast!
The song also contains two amazing one-take improv (!) guitar solos by A Demon Sheen, layered on top of each other. 

Here's the book:

Pink eye!

Here's the video for the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb7S4ajv5EU

- for some reason I can't embed it... :-(   

3. Conjuring

THIS is what I believe black metal should sound like. I mean hats off to the founding fathers for creating an amazing musical genre (and quite a philosophy with it, but I'm talking more about the music here), but I always thought Abruptum's idea of dark musical chaos was more on the money. Bordering on the edge of music and things just falling apart. Bands like Gnaw Their Tongues, Furze, The Axis of Perdition (though not strictly a BM band) and some other bands I can't think of off the top of my head get it right. So here's a painting in sound of mad chaos magicians dancing around a fire in the middle of the night.

Run away traveller!

4. (Eye of ) The Beholder
And we're back to the Beholder Beast. The one on the cover of the Compendium. Look at that fucker! All eye and all teeth! Motherfucker!
I love the lack of drums on this song, the almost droning melody, the gritty vocals, and then boom-boom-boom "Look into my eeeeeeye!"

5. Majesty
Another instrumental and it almost doesn't belong here. I mean who thinks of Kings and Queens in the lands of D&D? Its monsters, wizards and warriors, no? Well, yeah, but who runs these giant kingdoms you giant nerd? And how epic ARE these giant kingdoms? Dassright! So here's an instrumental celebration of the majesty of Majesty.
Truth be told the song just did not turn out as epic as I would've liked, but its still a doozy.

6. Roll the Dice
I want this motherfucker of a song to be nailed to the forehead of every motherfucker who buys a D&D manual of any kind. Anyone who ever plays this stupid game should have a copy of this song.
Its fast, its furious, its catchy, its an instruction and a celebration, a battlecry, its a total WIN! 

7. thee Monstrous Compendium (instrumental version)
A Demon Sheen's amazing guitar solos get an airing here as we revisit the song without me screaming all over it. They were just too good not to be heard good and proper.

8. (hidden track: Thornspawn Chalice by Isengard)
This is an incomplete song, which is why its a hidden track. Its one of my all time fave BM songs by that ultra-genius Cap'n Fenriz.

Worship Him

The original song is just magnificently epic and brutal, and the vocals - fuck me, nothing like it before or since. I donno how drunk Fenriz was when he put those screams down, but they're unprecedented and unsurpassed. Chills!
Well, I wanted to cover it, but realised I had nothing to add and didn't wanna change it in any way, which begs the question - then why bother? BM Karaoke? We already get retards doing that on those TV karaoke shows.
So here's a rough, shitty instrumental take, badly played and unfinished, a doff of the hat, a bow to the Master, nothing more.

Okay, if you didn't click the link before, here it is again, stream or better yet BUY this bad boy.

ALBUM
Check out the video for the title track HERE.
Buy the official T-shirt HERE.

The Monstrous Compendiuuuuuummmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I been bootlegged !!!

Okay, so I put out this black metal album under the moniker "+3 BROADSWORD" in 2007. It's all about Dungeons and Dragons, its tongue-in-cheek... except D&D was/ is a huge influence on BM... The cover of the first Burzum album was an illustration from a D&D manual (The Temple of Elemental Evil, I think)... So it's kinda legit. Innit?
Anyways, my friend AD macHINE told me he's found videos for some of the songs on youtube, so after some investigating, here's a bunch of links I found to bootlegs, etc of this here album - and some other musical projex of mine as well! Holy shit!

Bootleg etc links for +3 BROADSWORD: 

Official site: http://uscds.bandcamp.com/album/666-sided-dice
bootleg 1: http://wtfamilisteningto.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/3-broadsword-666-sided-dice-2007.html
bootleg 2: http://judgedredddreams.blogspot.com.au/2011/02/3-broadsword-666-sided-dice-2007.html
I'm big in Indonesia: http://gelappekat.blogspot.com.au/2009/04/black-metal-bands-list-part-i0.html
Official recognition, Pt1: http://www.spirit-of-metal.com/groupe-groupe-Plus_3_Broadsword-l-en.html
Official recognition, Pt2: http://www.spirit-of-metal.com/album-groupe-Plus_3_Broadsword-nom_album-666_Sided_Dice-l-en.html (a rating of 18/20!!!)
Official recognition, Pt3: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/%2B3_Broadsword/3540257015
Bootleg fan video 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCRnmncs3kU
Bootleg fan video 2:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM14BHSdJGUvcIca4uBbcoQ/videos
Bootleg fan video 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWEvg8VLons

Bootleg links for Fat Little Bastard:

mp3s: http://www.freemp3go.org/fat-little-bastard-flying-to-patagonia-mp3/

Bootleg links for St.Kurten:

http://myfreemp3.eu/music/St+K%C3%BCrten+-+Breathing+Is+The+Enemy

Bootleg links for k1ll 7h3 hum4n5:

http://www.muziekjes.nl/k1ll7h3hum4n5-kill-the-humans-37991466-song.html

Bootleg links for Demonist:

http://saintpetercottontailscrownofthorns.blogspot.com.au/2011/03/grist-and-demonist-three-verses-for-al.html

Now sing along:

FAME! I'm gonna live faw-re-vrrrrr....!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to "The Infinite Collage" !!!

Whilst the world knows it as "The Infinite Collage", it's actually called ...with uninhibited fingers for the unfathomable..., and... umm, yes, mmm, yes, I can see why you'd rather call it "infinite collage".

Anyhoo, it's 5 years old today, and whilst Mat and I could've gotten it some cake, we instead chose to do this.

Dig it foo!!!